Dear Single Me,
I remember when you were a little girl, and the dreams you had of meeting the right man and getting married. It was so exciting to think about what your story would hold, and how it would play out as you grew up. But as I look back on it all now, there are some things I wish you could have known, that would have been so beneficial to know then.
I wish you would have known that singleness is not a bad thing. I remember you feeling like being in a relationship was some how going to make you feel whole, even if it was the wrong one. Dating people was not a bad thing, but I wish you would have been more careful with how much of yourself you shared with others, and taken time more time to heal instead of jumping from one relationship to the next. You might of avoided a lot of unnecessary hurt and pain. Boys were never going to take the place of Jesus. Neither would being physical with someone. But you have learned from those mistakes, and you are a better person because of what you learned.
I am grateful that you learned to eventually trust that Jesus with who your future spouse would be. It was hard when you were dating to not let your mind get carried away with plans for the future. It was so much fun to think about the potential. But sometimes there was this nudge that you felt when dating, like this might not be the right situation. You would hold on to it at first trying to keep control, but then in obedience you would let go of the relationship, and trust that he would bring the right person at the right time. And eventually he did.
It was hard to not listen to what the world and culture said about relationships. I wish you would have had higher standards at some points. And to know that there is a reason Jesus designed certain things for marriage. Any choices made can affect your marriage in the future. But you have learned and continue to heal. God’s design is so beautiful.
I would also tell you because of Jesus there is grace. You will make mistakes. I know sometimes being a perfectionist you can be a little hard on yourself, but give yourself some grace as well. In the end, Jesus can take those mistakes and use them for good.
I wish you would have learned first that Jesus is the most important one to have a relationship with. Even since you got married, you have had to learn the hard way that your husband will never be able to meet all your needs. God was faithful to provide a great man and marriage has been a blessing to you. Though he is the most important person to you, Jesus needs to be more important. But I love that now you have learned that, and now you can grow in your love of Jesus. He is always there for you, he will never leave you. And he was there in the past when you were hurt in relationships that didn’t work out. Continue to walk with him in everything, and don’t let go of him.
And for anyone else who would Iisten and is single right now, I would say this… Jesus is more than enough. I wish I would have enjoyed the time that I had more when it was just me. You lack nothing when you are single, don’t let people tell you otherwise. Just brush off the question of why you don’t have a significant other. Live your life now to the fullest. Commitments later in life may also keep you from doing certain things you can do now. I know it is hard to hear this, but I really wish I would have listened. I wouldn’t have worried so much about finding someone to marry if I would have trusted that Jesus had my best interests in mind. He has never let me down. Never.